1. Make lots of time to get in the mood and start things slowly.
Although a ‘quicky’ may occasionally be an enjoyable sexual event, so is taking the time to make a whole day of loving romance and savouring the moments.
2. Consciously put your attention into giving and receiving touch.
My partner and I spent ages testing out sofas on which we could sit together in comfort and massage each other’s feet at the end of the day. This is a touching event we enjoy greatly. Touching can take many forms and making the time and to give and receive good touch attention enhances the whole relationship experience.
3. Put some time into looking and feeling your best.
In so many ways it is good to love yourself before you love somebody else. If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you expect them to? Treat yourself to things that make you feel gorgeous, a long hot bath, a spa day, get your hair and nails done.
4. Make sure that you smell delicious.
I’m not talking about ‘the Lynx Effect’ here, where everyone smothers themselves in perfume and has an orgy. Some people (including me) really dislike perfume and prefer the subtle and natural animal smells of a hot, clean, human. Personal hygiene is essential but if you have to apply smells keep them subtle and natural.
5. Concentrate on being a great communicator.
Many people forget that the best part of being a great communicator is being a good listener. There are many skills associated with this such as appropriate eye contact, giving feedback to show that you are listening, asking questions to show genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Only a tiny part of what we mean by words gets through; how we say it and the non-verbal aspects of speech convey much more than the words we choose.
6. Make sure that you can enjoy sharing some activities together.
He takes her out to football, she takes him shopping. They both put up with it. Make sure that the activities that you choose to do together can be enjoyed by both of you. For example, reading each other erotic stories is great fun.
7. Consciously make a time for romance.
It is very hard at home sometimes to make time for each other. Children, cooking, cleaning, DIY and the whole gamut of chores can take all of your time. Make some sacred space. You can do this by planning a special time away, enrol on a course with Shakti Tantra.
8. Prepare a beautiful and sacred space away from interruption.
Turn your bedroom or a spare room into a temple of love where you can hide away and give each other some proper attention.
9. Be prepared enough that you can enjoy being spontaneous.
Although you might think that too much planning can ruin spontaneity and fun, there is another way to think about this. If you use the example of Jazz music, this creates a framework within which the contributors can improvise, so to a certain extent planning can increase the opportunity for spontaneity and fun.
10. Let go and really enjoy yourself.
Some people seem to let go of themselves easily and make a lot of noise. But being able to let go can be hard for quieter types. Take the opportunity to work at letting go. This is just the sort of thing with which a Tantra course with Shakti Tantra can help you.